I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
