I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
