pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
