Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Let the clothes fall where they may.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
