So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
