Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
