I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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