No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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