Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
COCAINE IS GR8
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
