Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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