he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
