I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
