How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
