try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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