I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
