I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
