So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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