I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
