Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
