It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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