U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
