is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize