You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
