i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
