we have officially lost it.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
