Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
