Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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