Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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