Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
