you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
