i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
