it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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