Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
