Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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