giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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