You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize