I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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