He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
