Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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