i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize