4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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