Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
