It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
