Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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