My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize