update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
