there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize