i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
