I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize