i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
