there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize