I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
