im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
