just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
