dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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