those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
