I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
